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:sarcastic:
Heres another good joke: Toyota Prius :rofl: The joke is that it barely gets 40mpg or something like that & its ment to be saving the planet (all the trendy people have one- "look at me, I drive a prius because I care about the enviroment...."). A half decent diesal can get 40mpg, or a decent modern diesel can do in excess of 60mpg- even decent petrol engines can do well over over 40mpg if they arent silly 5.0 litre monsters and what not. Honda Clarity ftw... :yes: |
Here's a better joke:
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago . Nothing Is Moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold Up?' 'Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton,Oprah Winfrey, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 Million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.' The driver asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?' 'About a gallon' |
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Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.
"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do." O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done." "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity." O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?" |
Dog Pack Attacks Gator In Florida
At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty... The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines. See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator. Not for the squeamish http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/s.../untitledm.jpg |
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Redneck Motorcycle
http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/m.jpg Bass Boat http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/n-1.jpg The Grill http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/o.jpg Lawnmower http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/p.jpg Pet Carrier http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/l.jpg The Cat http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/mnn.jpg Guest Bedrooms http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/lk.jpg Palm Pilot http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/kl.jpg You need fashion tips from your husband..... http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/mk.jpg You wear a shirt like this for your engagement picture..... http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/mnm.jpg |
Your wedding picture looked like this...
http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/s...st5s/mnmmm.jpg And your wedding cake looked like this..... http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/dr.jpg Your doghouse looks like this... http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/gh.jpg You have a deer's butt for a door bell..... http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/fh.jpg You don't need a lake to do a little skiing..... http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/op.jpg Or if your wife is quoted in the local paper saying.... http://i578.photobucket.com/albums/ss226/Fast5s/yu.jpg |
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
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Ahh man i needed that,
I have a Question. If 2 Rednecks get a divorce are they still Brother and Sister? |
this is great we need a humor thread!
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Q: How do u describe Redneck foreplay?
A:Get in the truck Bitch! |
So a bar gets a donkey as a tab payment and doesn't know what do do with it.
One of the managers comes up with a contest idea to see if anyone can make the donkey laugh. The put a large fish tank by the door and charge 5 dollars per entry, the winner gets whatever is in the fish tank. Months go by and no one is successful. Finally one night a stranger walks in and drops his 5 bucks in the tank and goesinto the room with the donkey. Pretty soon everyone can hear the donkey laughing away, haw haw, hee haw, haw haw haw, hee haw, and so on. The stranger proceeds to collect his money and leave. Dissapointed the bar employees ponder over a new contest idea with the donkey. The manager decides to have the contest be to make the donkey cry, same fish tank, same 5 dollar entry. Again months go by and the fish tank fills up but alas no winners. Well in one night walks the same stranger who won the first contest. He drops his 5 dollars in the tank and goes to the room with the donkey. Pretty soon everyone hears the donkey boohooing away like he lost his mother. Out walks the guy to collect his money when the manager stops him. The manager says "look you'll get your money and all but we really wanna know how you did that" The stranger says "well to make him laugh I told him my penis was bigger than his" then he pauses: The manager says "and to make him cry" The stranger says "oh that, I just pulled it out and proved it to him" |
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