The Harley-Davidson Facts?



The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '

Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise?and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'


God said, 'Ah, yes .'

'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention !
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension



2. It chatters constantly at high speeds


3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much




4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!




'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::rofl:

Old Timer Sex

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.


Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Sixty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

OMG that's funny!!

A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter.

The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.



She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need
to know about it from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb.Test line.
It's a good all around combination, and it's actually on sale this week for $44."

She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that, just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts.

At first she's really embarrassed, but then realises there is no way the blind salesman would tell exactly who had farted.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $58.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks,

"Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $44. How did you get $58.50?"

"The Duck Caller is $11, and the Fish Bait is $3.50."

2 guys in a bar.One says to the other "Why are you pouring beer in your hand?" The other guy says" I'm getting my date drunk" :)

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint

When a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'












The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'










So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few hits. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.










The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'


The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink.


The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,




'Hey you!'






So the koala looked down at him and said,



'Holy Shiiiiiiit dude...

How much water did you drink??’

Q: How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort?


























A: Enough to kill Two And a Half Men.

SIPPING VODKA

A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.







The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."







So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.







Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:








1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.



2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.



3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.



4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.



5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.



6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..



7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.



8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..



9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.



10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'



11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body." He did not say,"Eat me."



12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.



13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.



14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Hi.Immigrants are like sperm,millions come in ,but only one works :)

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Dogs ass? Or jesus? http://www.jonco48.com/blog/dogbuttjesus.gif

link dies not work for me

greets nvt

FIXED, enjoy :whistle:

haha i lolled

greets nvt

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.'

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded. 'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the f#ckin' skipping'.

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the
door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running
around at her feet.

"I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?"

"We use it for sex," she said.

The researcher was a little taken a back.

"Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child's bicycle
chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most
people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use
it for sex?" The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all.

My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."

You got me Neil :whip:

http://www.rc-monster.com/forum/pict...&pictureid=913

There was a chinese couple lay in bed,the guy farted,it stank so he blamed it on the dog.The wife says " Don't blame it on the dog,I cooked it perfectly :)

man who stand on toilet high on pot

Hippo climbs out of the water; what happens next?...

[youtube]cJZLtpDpnLU[/youtube]

:lol:

That hippo sounds like a hpi baja :)
My girlfriend sent me shopping with £50,saying " get me something to make me beautiful". She wasn't impressed when I got back with a 24 pack of beer :)

A wife takes her husband to a bar, She says she's got a special cocktail for him to try. It's made of 1 shot of baylies,1 shot of pure lime juice,& 1/2 a teaspoon of salt. The wife tells her husband" Hold the baylies in your mouth, pour in the lime,then pour in the salt. The husband pours in the baylies,then the lime,which instantly curdles the baylies,Then the salt. The husband manages to swallow the cocktail,Then says " Christ, what's that one called?" The wife replies " Blowjob revenge " :)

ROFL :rofl:

little red
 

little red riding hood was on her way to grandma's house when she came upon the big bad wolf crouched down behind a tree " my, what big ears you have " suprised, the big bad wolf jumps up and runs away. A little further down the road, red runs into the wolf hiding behind a tree stump " my ,what big eyes you have " she says, and startled, the wolf jumps up and runs off. About half a mile from grandma' s red sees the wolf again, this time he's hiding behind a bush." My what big teeth....the wolf interupts red..." Hey lady, will you get the heck outta here, i'm trying to take a crap !

Man...my stomach cramped up I was laughing so hard!

If it's called a walkie talkie, How come a vacuum isn't called a Pushy sucky?

A very knowledgeable modeler with a know-it-all arrogant attitude challenged club members that he could answer any model related questions. For a small $5 bet, he would go around and ask each member to ask one question. If he answered wrong, he would loose the bet. True to his words, he could answer all questions till finally no modelers would take up the challenge.

Always on the lookout for a new victim, one day the arrogant modeler came across a new novice member. "I challenge you that we will take a turn to ask model related questions" said the modeler, "But because you are a novice, if I can't answer your question, I'll pay you $100. But if you can't answer my question, you'll pay me $5".

The novice just wanted to get on with his driving and refused the bet. However, after repetitive, annoying words from the arrogant modeler, the novice just wanted him off his back so he accepted the bet.

The novice asked his question first... "What Monster Truck has 6 differentials, 3 center diffs, and runs on only one OS .30 engine?"

After a long thought, the arrogant modeler concluded for the first time, he did not know the answer and paid the novice $100. "

So what's the truck called?" asked the arrogant modeler.

"I don't know" said the novice. He handed over the $5 and pocketed the remaining $95 for himself. Then he got on with his driving!

In 1872 a Welsh man invented the condom,using a sheeps bladder. In 1873 an English man refined the condom by first removing the bladder from the sheep :)

Whitney Houston beat Bobby Brown to death.

Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston? About 204 days.

Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson were thinking about a reunion tour but they couldnt decide on either Pepsi or Coke as the sponsor.

Thats good stuff:lol:

The cause of Whitney Houstons death is not clear, as we all know that cocaine is white.

Whitney Houstons tribute was shorter than the line of kids trick-or-treating at Casey Anthony's house

FOR HAROLD

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy."
Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on me way then".
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. He pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again.
Poor Paddy looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air, he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better, takes a step out onto the sidewalk, and falls flat on his face.
"By Jeebers! I'm a little crocked." Paddy can see his house just a few doors down. He crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door, and shimmies inside.
Paddy then crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says, "I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He drags himself up and into bed.
The next morning his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up, Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy replies, "I did, Jess. I was really crocked, but how'd you know?"
"Mick phoned; you left your wheelchair at the pub."

Seems legit... (the picture)

http://www.modelsport.co.uk/traxxas-...roducts/367292

Huh?

How many NASCAR drivers does it take to destroy a jet dryer? Juan.

They put TQi logo on an older previous model receiver :rules: