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-   -   Funny craigslist adds!! (https://www.rc-monster.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23570)

riverat1540 09.16.2009 07:02 PM
Funny craigslist adds!!
 
http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/fuo/1373535471.html this one is pretty good!

What's_nitro? 09.16.2009 07:38 PM
That's a good one. :yes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy on Craig's List
I could probably light it on fire, douse the fire with a bowl of urine, dry it with greasy rags, and still be fine with napping on it in my underpants.
:lol:

Metallover 09.16.2009 08:07 PM
This is great. Since this will expire, I shall move this text onto this thread so it can be enjoyed for years to come. Thanks riverat1540!

Quote:
So my wife wants a new couch. She wants me to sell this one. Check out that picture! I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Why would she possibly want to sell such a beautiful loveseat!? Surely her poor taste in loveseats is on par with that of Adolf Hitler and Martha Stewart!" Well, I'll tell you why she wants to sell it. It has flower patterns. While one may think that women love flower patterns, since they love flowers, this woman does not. She wants to trade it in for a newer, better model. One with "Micro-fiber", whatever the heck that means.

So I said "But Honey, how would you feel if I said I wanted to trade YOU in for a newer, better model?"

Since I spent the following week sleeping on this particular "love"seat and nursing a black eye, I can certainly attest to its comfort: It doesn't have much. Oh, it's ok for sitting on while you watch Sex and the City reruns while simultaneously crying and eating gallons of ice cream. But for sleeping, it's no good. I'm only 5'5" and it was too short even for me! You can certainly lay on it with your legs propped up on the arm rest and watch Terminator 2 while you eat bugles and fart. I couldn't possibly tell you how many of my own farts, tears, bugle dust, and witty one-liners this couch has absorbed!

I don't think it has any stains. Of course I probably wouldn't notice if it did. I could probably light it on fire, douse the fire with a bowl of urine, dry it with greasy rags, and still be fine with napping on it in my underpants.

Let me tell you the story of this couch. This story will make you laugh, cry, and shiver in fear. It's an epic tale, one for the history books.

One day I was walking out of my apartment complex. My neighbor stopped me and asked me if I wanted a free couch. I said "Sure!" and he helped me carry it in.

Well maybe that story wasn't "Epic", but who cares. This is Craigslist. Why would you be looking for epic stories in an ad for a couch? Get real.

Anyways, come buy this couch. "But wait!", you say. "What could I possibly give you that would be a fair trade for such a magnificent couch!?" Frankly, you don't have anything that could match this. So I'll settle:

I want a 12-pack of beer. I'm normally a Coors Light man, but am willing to expand my horizons. No budweiser! That stuff tastes like boiled donkey urine that's been sitting in the sun for a week. And no miller, that's just boring. Other than that, surprise me.

That way, someday in the future, when I'm sitting on a new micro-fiber couch watching Arnold deliver such lines as "You're fired!" and "Stick around!" I can drown out the memories of how much I paid for this so-called "Micro-Fiber" with a drunken haze. I bet she won't let me eat bugles on it. But even she can't stop the farts or the one-liners. I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Edit: Price has been lowered to a 6-pack. I'm a lightweight, so a 6-pack should get me sufficiently drunk to watch Commando and giggle hysterically. "Let off some steam, Bennett!"

http://images.craigslist.org/3n63pb3...06831514e4.jpg

lincpimp 09.16.2009 08:34 PM
Since he got it for free he should be the one handing out the beer for someone to take it. I will have to see if he will pay shipping...

riverat1540 09.17.2009 11:20 AM
yea it was one of the best ones ive seen in a while but im sure there are alot more out there:lol:

Bondonutz 09.17.2009 11:41 AM
Admitting to laying on it in underwear, Bugle dust and farting on it doesn't help with getting rid of it ?

riverat1540 09.17.2009 11:48 AM
This part cracks me up!
Quote:
I want a 12-pack of beer. I'm normally a Coors Light man, but am willing to expand my horizons. No budweiser! That stuff tastes like boiled donkey urine that's been sitting in the sun for a week. And no miller, that's just boring.

riverat1540 09.17.2009 11:51 AM
found another one that is ok maybe there is some good stuff where u guys are located as well
Quote:
Bicycle Peddles (metal) - $10 (Lakeview.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-09-15, 1:28AM CDT
Reply to: sale-dxqy5-1375117162@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I'm selling a pair of metal bike petals that were only used for a few months. These are better quality peddles made of metal with no plastic. The reason why I made sure to get metal was because my previous bike had plastic peddles. During the cold winter months the plastic weakened and the peddle snapped as I proceeded to peddle. Needles to say I almost gave myself a back alley style sex change but was fortunate to not cause myself any damage. :)

Plastic peddles should be illegal!

Metal peddles (one pair)

See photo.


Location: Lakeview.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1375117162

FastXR 09.17.2009 12:37 PM
I like the constant misspelling of the word pedal.

BrianG 09.17.2009 12:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FastXR (Post 321417)
I like the constant misspelling of the word pedal.
What's really funny is that they spelled the same word differently, and both incorrect ("petals", "peddles"). :)

_paralyzed_ 09.17.2009 02:36 PM
I called a guy once who was selling a pushbroom through a local paper for $7. I told him what I really needed was a pull broom but I thought I could make a pushbroom work. We discussed the use of the broom over its life, and the fact that it was indeed a one owner broom with low miles on it. I tried to haggle him down to $4 but he wouldn't go below $5 so I told him I had other brooms I was looking at and that I might get back to him.

What's_nitro? 09.17.2009 04:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by _paralyzed_ (Post 321438)
I called a guy once who was selling a pushbroom through a local paper for $7. I told him what I really needed was a pull broom but I thought I could make a pushbroom work. We discussed the use of the broom over its life, and the fact that it was indeed a one owner broom with low miles on it. I tried to haggle him down to $4 but he wouldn't go below $5 so I told him I had other brooms I was looking at and that I might get back to him.
Amazing....

jayjay283 09.17.2009 05:00 PM
I wont even log onto that crap, thats where people get murdered. A friend of mine traded a rustler for a beat up nitro muggy on there. hes 15 and asked me to drive him and make sure he doesn't get jacked. These dudes we met up with must have been fresh out of prison. I thought for sure I was going to die.. Never again the craiglist for me. Id bet if I wasn't there they would have beat the crap out of him and taken the stuff

Bondonutz 09.17.2009 05:32 PM
I sell on CraigsList also, and always meet the buyer at a very public location. One of the the first times I sold anything the guy wanted to meet behind the local mall. I tried to get a better place but he was insistant ? Warning flags for me. Just befor I pulled around the corner of the building where the meeting place was I put my .45ACP on the dash. I pulled up next him and a couple of his buddys and we had a very quick transaction. He hardley looked at the item,he seemed to want to get the business done and leave ? He didn't seem nothing like how he was on the phone ?

BP-Revo 09.17.2009 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondonutz (Post 321506)
I sell on CraigsList also, and always meet the buyer at a very public location. One of the the first times I sold anything the guy wanted to meet behind the local mall. I tried to get a better place but he was insistant ? Warning flags for me. Just befor I pulled around the corner of the building where the meeting place was I put my .45ACP on the dash. I pulled up next him and a couple of his buddys and we had a very quick transaction. He hardley looked at the item,he seemed to want to get the business done and leave ? He didn't seem nothing like how he was on the phone ?

LOL. Must have been a change in plans after seeing your .45 on the dash. :na:

Bondonutz 09.17.2009 06:27 PM
I can only assume cause he changed his tune real quick ?

riverat1540 09.17.2009 07:20 PM
well u take the good with the bad, ive sold a fair amount and bought a fair amount of things on craigslist without a hitch. but do agree there are scumbags out there but that is why i trade in public locations as well and i also believe it is what you are buying, im sure the guy selling the big box of porn is more of a gamble vs. someone selling a car or motorcycle

redshift 09.17.2009 08:07 PM
This is an old ebay auction.. can't believe it's still in circulation!

I Will Kick Your Ass

Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:

1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).

Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.

Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.

Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.

I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even

Link:
http://www.othercinema.com/otherzine...4/auction.html

Bondonutz 09.17.2009 08:13 PM
Thats freakin' halarious !!!

jayjay283 09.17.2009 09:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by redshift (Post 321555)
This is an old ebay auction.. can't believe it's still in circulation!

I Will Kick Your Ass

Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:

1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).

Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.

Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.

Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.

I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even

Link:
http://www.othercinema.com/otherzine...4/auction.html


LMFAOOOO There are some people like me in the world. I feel free that Im not alone in a bubble

Andrew32 09.17.2009 10:02 PM
we traded 4 handles of smirnoff for a 1991 4x4 grand cherokee from a man named HANK with no doors, windows...it even came with not one, but TWO SCREWDRIVER to start it!:lol:


We strapped in a old 5 point harness, took it back woods and beat the hell out of it. It finally gave up...so we shrugged our shoulders and left it in the woods. Went back in the morning to get it out and take to the recycling place (they will pay $400) and it was gone......not sure what exactly happened to it....:oh:

BL_RV0 10.05.2009 08:43 PM
Keep 'em coming! :lol: :rofl:

riverat1540 10.05.2009 09:10 PM
ill post them as i see um

Metallover 10.08.2009 08:12 PM
This is pretty BA

http://sd.craigslist.org/cto/1382246401.html

95 MERCEDES S500 MAFIA EDITION - $2800 (siouxfalls)

I am selling a s500 for really cheap, the msrp on this car when it came out was $96,500. It has 420hp with a 5.0. MILEAGE=147000 The car has bullet proof windows, a phone inside, and lots of other things, the car is fully loaded. Some problems it has is it is hit on the drivers side back door. Not bad, really easy fix, another thing that it has is reverse is going out, i mean it still can go reverse it just takes like 10 sec for it to get into gear. If interested please call at 605

Location: siouxfalls
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

http://images.craigslist.org/3k03o03...3a38dd1c6b.jpg http://images.craigslist.org/3n63kc3...d1725c1c20.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/3nc3ke3...96547f1de4.jpg http://images.craigslist.org/3ne3kb3...31caac1ff2.jpg

Modding_out 10.11.2009 06:21 PM
let me go grab my foil under pants:lol:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/rnr/1413901642.html

riverat1540 11.07.2009 04:11 PM
Hope this is a fake:surprised:
http://i38.tinypic.com/24on68i.jpg

t-maxxracer32 11.07.2009 04:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by riverat1540 (Post 331637)
Hope this is a fake:surprised:
http://i38.tinypic.com/24on68i.jpg
hahahahahahahaahah:lol::lol:

thats great


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