[jayjay283]

You need a real tear jerker, MIne I told about how my mother was mentally ill and put in a hospital when i was 15 and my father worked in Japan 6 months out of the year, and I had to raise my twin sisters who were 2 years younger than me, feed them make sure they learned real world values, and they eneded up with straight As and I had lesser grades as I bore the brunt of the burden.

My Girlfriend at the time wrote about how when she was 12 she had to escape from Iram because the Shah had taken over and threw her familky out of their home on the street to make their home one of the Shahs brothers homes and they had to escape to America by hiding in the trunks of taxis and running through the airport and how she loves America and wants to embrace all it has to offer.

12% of all of that combined is true.....Lie Lie Lie and kiss ass

The Line.. "I want to attend your college to better myself as a person, not to make more money in the long run".. or something a bit more eloquent, came from my fathers Harvard Business School letter I read, so I threw that on mine since he got in and hes a friggin genius

Make up a snivelling story and sell it about how it made you the upstanding man you are today who deserves to be in the skulls and drive a porsche LOL