[lincpimp]

I would replace the cigs with a severed rat head, or maybe some extra poo that you have laying around (the poo would be funnier).

Or replace the cigs with candy cigs, that would also be funny. And not nearly as gross.

Or hide in the bushes in a giant chicken suit, jump out when she tries to retreive the smokes and yell "the british are coming" repeatedly while flapping your arms like wings and dropping fresh eggs out the rear of the costume. Make sure you vid this, as I will most likely die shortly after seeing it (since my life would then be complete).