I thought this was funny.

[What's_nitro?]

I hope you agree!



An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling-

"I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got a 17-year-old girlfriend who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers this for a moment, then says:

"Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he's in the woods and suddenly a bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in its chest."

"That's impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear," the man said.

"Exactly," replies the Doc.

[lincpimp]

Good one, thanks for the laugh!

[_paralyzed_]

no NO NO

It was a beaver he was hunting. Had his umbrella up and acted like he took three shots. Just then he heard, "boom boom boom"

The Doc then asks, "Do you get the point of the story?"

And the patient replies, "Yeah, someone else pumped a few rounds into that beaver"

[ZippyBasher]

oh F*ck thanks guys going to bed on a good note!

[What's_nitro?]

That's a good alternate ending, _paralyzed.

[georgec]

I got this one in my email today

The Train Ride
>>>
>>>
Sitting together on a train was Obama, George W. Bush, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.
>>>
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand-print on his cheek.
>>>
No one speaks.
>>>
The old lady thinks:
Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.
>>>
The blonde girl thinks:
Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.
>>>
Obama thinks:
Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
>>>
George Bush thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack Obama again.

[t-maxxracer32]

^^ haha that is funny

both are good ones

[georgec]

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud,
so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

[lincpimp]

Originally Posted by georgec

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud,
so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

And when you got up:

[nitrostarter]

Originally Posted by lincpimp

And when you got up:

I think I just pissed my pants at that one...

[georgec]

OMG that's soooo funny

[What's_nitro?]

Good one, George!

[Modding_out]

^^Nuf said^^

[lincpimp]

Originally Posted by Modding_out

^^Nuf said^^

That perfectly explains why Chris Fine's shipping takes so long... And that he is secretly a tuxedo wearing mobile seamstress...

[Modding_out]