How many problems could be solved if God decided to hold a weekly telecon? Shouldn't be all that much trouble for the all-powerful Creator to have a bit of face time with the model of his image to clear some things up.
Boom, open up the skies on Sunday, and lets have a weekly Q&A, just like a football coach does after every game.
Q: WBC?
GOD: No, someone's looking to get smoted
Q: Gays in military?
GOD: You guys aren't supposed to be fighting in the first place...What part of thou shalt not kill do you not understand?
Q: That hurricane last week, what was up with that? U mad bro?
GOD: Pppssstt. That's global warming fools. U did that. I didn't make dinosaurs for 200 million years for you to burn them all up in 100 and mess all my creation up. Didn't Al Gore tell you guys? I told him all about it in that peice of toast I devined my image in a while back. Should have never smoted the T-rexes, they were totally awesome. Should have had a plague of them instead of a bunch of stupid crickets. That would have gotten your attention. Miss those guys...
Q: Man.. The Red Sox.. how much do they suck?
GOD: Dude, Big Time. Don't come crying to me asking to hit your homers for you. I don't care and I'm busy anyway. Stop asking me to win you a Grammy too. You whine as much as the Keelians..
Q: Wait, what, who?
A: Uhhh... what?
Q: No no no.... we heard it. Who the F is that? Did you make some other creation behind our back?
GOD: Ahhh, damn... I mean, look... Its just not the same as it was back then in Jerusalem. Everything was better back then, you guys were new and fun and exciting, we has a bright future to look forward too... Then you had to go and kill my boy. Do you think I would just get over that?
Q: Oh god, are you going to bring that up again? It wasn't our fault anyway. Have you seen all the statues we built for him? How many times can we say we're sorry?
GOD: Like it helps any! Could you bring him back? No, I did. After that, I wanted to move on, make some other creations from the things I learned here.
Q: ?

GOD: I mean, you guys are kinda lame. Sure you invented planes and rockets and cool stuff like that, but you're pretty weak and break easy. Never did like the ape look anyway. Ugh, making you bald didn't help either. Should've gone with the squirrel monkey theme.. I was on fire that day
So I made some other dudes. Maybe a bunch of other dudes. The Dragonians are awesome. They are like 40ft tall and have huge teeth and wings and can change colors and have four arms and shoot fire and lighting. Plus they actually listen to the stuff I say.
You know, you guys can have free will without being such d1cks about it. How many holocausts have you had now? And you guys have nearly killed all my rhinos and tigers.... You think I just come up with cool things like that everyday?
Q: What?! You said you made us in your image!
GOD: Yeah, but I didn't say of which part.
Q: Oh, we see how it is then... so what does this mean, are you leaving us?
GOD: No no no baby. They are in another galaxy. Don't worry. I put them far away from you so you couldn't possibly make them extinct.
I'll still be around, maybe not as much as I was in the old days when I was burning bushes and stuff.. Plus, you guys got like 5 billion years before the Sun explodes. I'm sure you guys can find a way off before then if you don't kill yourselves first. I'll be around watching. G/L