Joke of the day #10

[Procharged5.0]

Subject: Little Johnny at it Again


Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him
and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so
much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the
word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a
cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see ?"

Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will
have 20/20 vision."

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he
needed glasses."

[mach1stang]

hahahaha now thats funny pro!!!

[HotnCold]

That was a good one - I just found this one -

A Marine stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John"
Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance
between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on
you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love,
Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters,
ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of
Becky,

Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had
collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:

Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the
**** you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest
back to me.

Take Care, Ricky

Originally Posted by HotnCold

That was a good one - I just found this one -

A Marine stationed in Iraq recently received a "Dear John"
Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance
between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on
you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love,
Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters,
ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of
Becky,

Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had
collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:

Dear Becky, I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the
**** you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest
back to me.

Take Care, Ricky

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG!!!! that was the best joke yet!!!

pros was good to! but thats what the have contacts for:018: but he could always tape em on for the time being lol

[jnev]

Those are both hilarious!!

Thanks for sharing guys.

[Procharged5.0]

Good one HotnCold!

[HotnCold]

I like the joke of the day - it brings a little laughter in a world that people often take way too seriously...

What do you call cheese that is not yours - LOL - Nacho cheese...

This one is good too - LOL

An 80 year-old farmer went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. Farmer says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that? Farmer said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

[Procharged5.0]

That's a riot! I'm gonna share that one with a few friends!

Lmao!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahaha

[HotnCold]

Here is another one i found funny ....

A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud voice, "Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls silent. In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things...
"One: the bartender is a blonde woman,
"two: the bouncer is a blonde woman,
"three: the woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer,
"four: the lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler,
"five: I'm a six foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black belt in karate. and a very bad attitude.
"Now, think about it seriously, mister, do you still want to tell that dumb blonde joke?"

The blind man thinks for a few seconds, shakes his head and says, "Naahh. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[BrianG]

Funny stuff! I had seen the last one, but always worth it to read again!

[Procharged5.0]

Originally Posted by BrianG

Funny stuff! I had seen the last one, but always worth it to read again!

Same here.....but it still makes me chuckle!

[jnev]

So funny!!