Threads going off topic

I think that is what the Maxcraps marketing team looks like on any given day.

[riverat1540]

A man and his wife were doing yard work. The husband said to his wife, "Gee, honey, your butt is as wide as the BBQ grill." The wife ignores his remark.

A little later, the husband, measuring tape in hand, walked over to his wife. While she was bending over to tend to her flower bed, he measured her back side. "Honey, your butt IS as wide as the grill!" She again ignores his remark.

Later that night, while in bed, the husband began to feel amorous. He starts to hug her and stroke her until the wife said, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you're out of your mind!!"

[riverat1540]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought.

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?'

He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.'

'Very well my son. Please follow me.'

He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.

The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,

'Please knock on this door.'

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.

This nun instructs,'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.'

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT,
YOU SINNER

[bruce750i]

Jack in the Box rocks!

[eovnu87435ds]

Originally Posted by suicideneil

Why I not laugh? Oh yeah, am not funny really...

Q. Does every vehicle in USA have an automatic transmission? Why is that? I would guess its simply because most of the roads are long and straight, so no skill is required with regards to shifting up and down at the correct time. Ofcourse, saying something like that might cause a heated debate...

5 speed's own...

Ben never uses the brakes in his car, just downshifts....

[BL_RV0]

Wait... if ben never uses the brakes, just downshifts, he has a stick. But if his car shifts into 5th at 90mph then he has a automatic... Something doesn't add up here.

My landcruiser is a stick....

[Metallover]

Expertsexchange.com

[BL_RV0]

Chocolate chip cookies were invented by accident.

[PedeBasher]

You were invented by accident.

[BL_RV0]

Your entire family was invented by accident.

[redshift]

Originally Posted by suicideneil

Why I not laugh? Oh yeah, am not funny really...

Q. Does every vehicle in USA have an automatic transmission? Why is that? I would guess its simply because most of the roads are long and straight, so no skill is required with regards to shifting up and down at the correct time. Ofcourse, saying something like that might cause a heated debate...

Could be because it takes us more than 15 minutes to get from coast to coast

Shifting gets old about the time you hit 19.. I know, you kids think you'll drive like madmen til you're 90. Just wait.

Fun is riding a 30 year old streetbike and obliterating stunter kiddies in the curves.

I should mention that's with tires half as wide, with half the horsepower... and almost double the weight. Really gets them scratching their heads

[PBO]

If you can't drive a manual - call it a shift if you like - you can't drive!

[redshift]

Originally Posted by PBO

If you can't drive a manual - call it a shift if you like - you can't drive!

Mmm you pose an interesting theory, it would go a long way explaining why MOST people can't drive... but things are messy enough no? Can you imagine 850 million dolts trying to learn it at once....... that sir spells apocalypse

[PBO]

I liken changing gears to car control and that in itself implies a basic level of thought during the act of driving

Talking on a phone, eating, smoking, picking your nose etc all become harder if you need to change gears...how many times do you see some goon doing one of the mentioned, drifting accross lanes, running red lights. It's a basic theory but in my experience it works

[brushlessboy16]

Originally Posted by BL_RV0

Wait... if ben never uses the brakes, just downshifts, he has a stick. But if his car shifts into 5th at 90mph then he has a automatic... Something doesn't add up here.

My landcruiser is a stick....

no its not i have just figured out how to utilize all 5 speeds in my car

L- 1st
2- 2nd
D +hold button- 3rd
D- 4th
W0T and 92mph-5

simple