engineering scholarship essay. what do you think?

[JERRY2KONE]

That is some good advice from James and BillyGun. Your on the right track, but writing for most of us cannot happen all at once. On the first paragraph try rewriting it shorter as stated, and then merge the info to finalize your point. Don't try to correct and write over the same thing. Start fresh. YOu may come up with a better way to express yourself the second or third time around.

Grammer and spelling are paramount when you have a professor or teacher anylizing your work for money. You have to look at this as if it were a resume' for a job. He is looking for what you would bring to his field if you become an engineer, so you have to sell yourself as a good bet. Its not about what you can get out of it, but what you can put into the endevor. Most importantly how the engineering field will benefit having you as a coleague.