engineering scholarship essay. what do you think?

[t-maxxracer32]

12 years ago if you would have asked me what profession I wanted to be in when I grow up I would have told you that I wanted to be an engineer. When I was 7 years old I had a particular interest in computers and electronic devices. Once we got our home computer when anything went wrong with it I was the go-to-guy to get it back up and running again. I always wondered how the computer knew what to do when I gave it commands, and that sparked up my interest in the computer software discipline. As I grew up I realized that to pursue my passion as an engineer id need to develop a set of skills that will help me reach my future goals.
Everyone can go through college and get their degree, but once you are in the field and start working on projects there are some skills that no teacher can teach you. An Engineer must be persistent, curious, patient, ambitious, and hard working, just to name a few. Above all, the most important aspect to be an engineer is to be a good problem solver, and have the will and desire to solve any problem that comes your way.
I feel that I possess these skills that are needed to become a great software engineer because when a problem is presented to me even if I do not know exactly how to fix it I will find a solution whether it is in a book, or on the internet. To become an engineer to me is more than just a job, it is what I have dreamed of doing since I was little and would be a huge accomplishment. I will have a Great job that is consistently challenging me to try new things and develop futuristic software.
I plan to study software engineering, with a focus towards aerospace engineering. Particularly, I am interested in programming missile systems as applied towards defense or the space industry. I intend on pursuing a master’s degree with the eventual goal of becoming a project manager. I wish to have creative freedom to apply my skills, as well as mentor junior engineers to build them up within the program. A few strengths of mine that will help me achieve these goals is that I have very high standards for myself and will not settle for anything less because I know that I have the skills to get there. My persistence is what really helps me to get the job done because like when I was little working on computers I had no real knowledge of how they worked or anything, but wanted to get the problem solved and worked with the problem until it was fixed. Everyone has their faults and for me at times I can be somewhat of a procrastinator. I can take longer than I want to finish projects because I can spend considerable amount of time working out all the details. I am trying to learn to focus on the essential details to produce a product that meets my own high standards while making efficient use of my time.


535 words now.

new run... hope its better..? i took out a bunch of things that weren't necessarily
needed and pretty much copied and pasted everything you all told me to write in it... I can change it to my own words but it definetly will lose its meaning and power.

[JERRY2KONE]

12 years ago if you would have asked me what profession I wanted to be in when I grew up I would have told you that I wanted to be an engineer. When I was 7 years old I had a particular interest in computers and electronic devices. Once we acquired our first home computer anything that went wrong with it, I was the go-to-guy to get it back up and running again. I always wondered how the computer transferred our commands into actions, and that sparked my interest in the computer software field. As I grew up I realized that to pursue my passion as an engineer I would need to develop a set of skills that would help me reach my future goals.

Anyone can go through college and earn a degree, but once you are in the field and start working on projects there are some skills that not even a teacher can help you develop or give to you. An Engineer must be persistent, curious, patient, ambitious, and hard working, in order to be successful. Above all, the most important aspect in becoming an engineer is to be a good problem solver, and have the will and desire to resolve any obstacles that may come your way.

I feel that I possess these skills that are needed to become a successful software engineer, because when a problem is presented to me even if I do not know exactly how to fix it I will find a solution whether it is in a book, or through internet research. Becoming an engineer to me is more than just a job, it is what I have dreamed of doing since I was a young child, and it would be a huge accomplishment in my life goals. I will have a Great job that is consistently changing and challenging me to try new things and develop futuristic software.

I plan to study software engineering, with a focus towards aerospace engineering. Particularly, I am interested in programming missile and missile defense systems as applied towards National Defense or the space industry. I intend on pursuing a master’s degree with the eventual goal of becoming a project manager. I wish to have creative freedom to apply my skills, as well as mentor junior engineers to help build them up within the various programs.

My personal strengths that will assist me in achieving these goals is that I have very high standards for myself and will not settle for anything less because I know that I have the skills and the will to get there. My persistence is what really helps me to get the job done. Just as it did when I first began working on computers. I had no real knowledge of how computers worked or what made them tic, but I knew that I wanted to get the problem solved and worked through the problem until it was back in running order. Everyone has their faults and for me at times I can be somewhat of a procrastinator. I can take longer than I want to finish projects because I can spend considerable amounts of time working out all the details, but I am trying to learn focus, and keep my eye on the essential details to produce a product that meets my own high standards as well as whatever standards are set by my employer while making efficient use of my time.

[JERRY2KONE]

I'm no English major either, but that is what I translated your words into. You need to work on smoothing things out just a bit and making it look like what you read in the books. It needs to look somewhat cimetrical and paragraphed correctly. What I would do if I were in your position is find an English Major and ask them for help getting your work cleaned up a bit. That might be easier than going back and forth on the RCM forum. We are always glad to help, but who would you go to for help with a PC. Not a mechanic, or a carpenter. You go to the pros that do that kind of work.

[t-maxxracer32]

Originally Posted by JERRY2KONE

who would you go to for help with a PC. Not a mechanic, or a carpenter. You go to the pros that do that kind of work.

id go here. im sure we have some pros for PCs

anyways my mom has been a teacher for 25+ years so ill go to her.

i hate going to her till im ready to submit because she finds SOO many mistakes that it makes me want to just rewrite it.

but if im pretty much there i will take it to her.

so i deleted the procrastinating part that harold mentioned.

not sure what else to do

[_paralyzed_]

Everyone has their faults. and for me at times I can be somewhat of a procrastinator. I can take longer than I want to finish projects because I can spend considerable amount of time working out all the details. I am trying to learn to focus on the essential details to produce a product that meets my own high standards while making efficient use of my time.


remove the bolded, that's just bashing yourself. Saying you take longer than you want is enough of a fault. Add the period after "faults" like I did.

nobody likes a procrastinator!

It's looking a lot better!!