There are exceptions to ever rule, but for teh most part there are too many kids just hanging out in school doing nothing, because they did not pay their own way. Sorry but I have been around a long time and that is the norm. That rule about taking the parents earnings into account is only in effect up to their 24th birthday. After that it is only their own income that counts. Our son in Seattle is now turning 26 and he is in his second year through grants. Sure it is not easy, but he really does understand what it is all about now. He has had to work his way every step along the way. Of course it has been somewhat of a struggle for him, but he gets it now. He admits that he probably would not have done much with the education if we paid for it. MOST kids just do not understand or care about what it takes to pay for that education until they reach an age in their mid 20's, and for most parents it is too late by then, because they have pissed away tens of thousands of dollars in tuition trying to help their kids out. Like I said if you want something bad enough you will find a way to make it happen for yourself.
As for getting rid of any of your toys, that has to be something that you want to do, because of financial issues, and not something that your wife makes you do against your will. Especially if you are the only one working.