Dont apologise, I know exactly what you're saying and you're quite right. Im just not all that great at soldering as it is, and trying to solder thick stranded wire onto a tiny little metal tab, which is half inside a piece of plastic is somwwhat challenging for me, to say the least. When I was running the TXT-1 the whole lot used to get 'quite warm', but never what I would deem 'too warm', if you know what I mean. The pig tails would be best for me, straight forward solder direct onto the batts and the pcb of the esc- that would be easy enough - I had a 25w iron which broke, so now Im getting a 30w iron and silver solder. I will practice my soldering on the half melted deans, and if I can do it properly, and it turns out the new rig puts a lot of strain on the electrics, then I'll get the pig tails. I guess tamiya plugs are okay for lower draw machines, not our big bad brushless monsters.....
Much of how well a soldering iron works is dependent on how it is used. You have to have a clean tip free of any oxidation. You might want to read the thread on soldering if you haven't already.
If Deans are too small to grasp, there are other connectors you can use which have a larger "handle" and work just as well as Deans. Anything is better than those Tamiyas.