You usually connect it to both. If not, one battery pack will discharge slightly faster than the other since one is also powering the servos. Just hook the BEC wires to the ESC power wires (observing polarity of course) and you'll be all set.
Just make sure the UBEC input can take whatever battery voltage you are running.
Yes, it will work with any BEC-capable receiver (which most, if not all, are).
i'd rather do the MM/8xL of course because it's cheaper but im worried that i'll overheat it in arizona and ruin it. if i did go with that would it need a fan?
and are those batteries okay with both set ups? would lipo 8000HV 2S2P 7.4v packs give me more power or speed? or just better run times? should i go with a higher voltage?