Random question about friends and girls.

[BP-Revo]

Well, here is an update. Apparently since the beginning my "friend" has been trying to sabotage what her and I have. He has been twisting what I say and making stuff up and just telling her random anything to get her to stop seeing me. In any case, it hasn't worked, or at least it seems it hasn't. She was the one who told me that he was doing all this, and she too is angry at him for trying to do this. So I guess his true colors have been revealed, not a friend at the very least.

At least I now know to never lift my finger for him. I did a pathetic amount of things for him. I actually dragged him along on one of our dates because he had gotten high (weed) and I wasn't going to allow him to drive himself home in that condition, so I dragged him along with her and I to the beach, dinner, etc. Furthermore, I took him to the Long Beach Grand Prix. These tickets were in the thousand dollar range as they were pit row suite tickets, had full garage and pit access, and included a pace car ride. And while I was doing all this stuff (and more) for him, he was still trying to sabotage her and I.

I am actually somewhat glad this happened, as I now know the kind of person he really is and it also showed that despite all his BS she still stayed there and payed attention to what I said and did.

[gtxracer]

Yeah, don't talk to him. Just shut him out and focus on being a nice guy to your girl. Also, be cool when he's around. Don't let him get you frustrated or riled up. You got the girl, so act like you're the $h!t.

[lincpimp]

As I said, he sounds like a douche bag to me. Just ignore him, and he will go away.

[JERRY2KONE]

Well this is good news, because you have the upper hand in things now. His secret game is not secret any longer. You know what to expect from him and you no longer will play his game. There are a million ways to handle just about any situation and you have to find what works for you. Like it was posted I would just shut him out and take away any chance for him to mess things up between you and your woman. Since she seems to be pretty open about the whole thing ask her what she thinks and how she would like to deal with this scumbag. Keep his in the loop and let her more or less guide your approach to the matter. I will let her know that she can trust you and that you appreciate her opinion in tough matters. She is the most important person in all of this, and you need to keep it that way.

Focus your attention on her and have fun. Life goes by pretty quickly and we tend to miss a lot more than we know. Good luck with that.

[its me]

LOL good thread!!

Your friend is a POS and you need to get rid of the looser trying to drag you down.. Your friend is a complete ass trying to hook up with your girl, its alright though at least you seen it early.

[BP-Revo]

Yeah, and she just informed me he again invited her to go cosmic bowling on Friday. Idiot doesn't know when to lay off. She turned him down instantly of course...I wonder how many times she's gonna have to do that before he gets the hint (She hasn't ever accepted a single one of his invitations to date, yet he keeps trying).

[What's_nitro?]

I applaud you for having SOOOOO much patience with this guy. I would have mashed his face in a long time ago.

[BP-Revo]

I dunno, I admit I'm more impressed than angry, but more annoyed than impressed. Annoying because when her and I hang out she gets massive amounts of texts from him and it just kills it. But I'm impressed as hell with his stupidity...first for going after a taken girl, second for not taking a hint and giving up when he's been turned down so many times, and third for what appears to be an honest belief that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing.

[What's_nitro?]

What the ----? He's text-spamming her, too? You should ask her to shut off her phone while you're out together. Just say you prefer the additional privacy...

[BP-Revo]

He aims her every night, texts her 24/7, and calls her too...

Idiot does NOT know when to give up.

For her birthday her sister and I planned out this whole elaborate scheme. I was to take her out to this vendor fair she wanted to go to, then I was to take her to dinner where her sister and a bunch of her friends were going to be waiting (as a surprise).

However, he wanted to take her to see a movie, alone. He told me that he was going to do this - didn't ask me, told me. I told him no he wasn't, cause it would screw up the plan her sister and I spent like a week and a half thinking up. He flips the hell out claiming that he thought of taking her to the movies before we thought of the plan, and that means he got first dibs on her. Its not like she ever chooses him anyway, but I'm waiting for the day where he gives her an ultimatum saying "him or me." Its obvious who she'd choose and I'd like to have her stick it in his face so he might figure it out.

She's too nice though...she feels bad so she doesn't ignore him completely and eventually responds to his texts.

[BrianG]

Man, at this point I'd be cutting my losses and just move on. Yeah, she may technically choose you, but her being nice to this guy is just encouraging the situation. Your "friend" isn't a friend and needs a kick in the teeth, and the girl just needs to tell this guy how it is and to seriously back off. Just my $0.02...

[jhautz]

She needs to be the one to tell this guy it aint gonna happen and to quit it. Untill she puts it no uncertain terms he aint gonna get it.

Why would you even invite this ass munch to the party anyway? I wouldnt even have told him about it. Just made the plans with her and when he asked her to the movies, she was already busy.

[lincpimp]

Being nice and understanding will only lead this guy on. You might want to discuss this with her and point this out. He is obviously obsessed with her, does she know what that will lead to? She may find it flattering to have all of his attention, but what happens when she gets tired of it? After letting this go on for a while, telling him to quit will not work. This kind of BS has to be taken care of quickly and decisively.

Plus you can let her know that you find the entire situation unacceptable and that it directly conflicts with your belief system of how a relationship is conducted. Put your foot down, you do wear the pants, remember! No need to be mean, or nasty, just make sure you are firm and stick to your principles.

And if she does not want to do anything, you may want to consider finding someone else. It is obvious what your "friend" is trying to do. This guy really sounds desperate, maybe there is something wrong with him mentally? You might try having him committed, if only for analysis!

[lincpimp]

For what it is worth, I do know a bunch of marines in San Diego. You could accidentally PM me his address and a pic. Voila, no more aggravation. And the marines will only want beer...

[BP-Revo]

lol Linc...marines eh? Too bad I can't buy beer.

I think the BIGGEST problem here is that he is just an idiot, simply put. He doesn't see hints when they hit him in the face and knock him over and he also doesn't understand anything about girls or how to get one. He doesn't understand the difference between a girlfriend a friend thats a girl.

She's taking care of it, so I'm good. She knows how I feel about it and she says she'd take care of it all, and I trust her. I think if anything I'm just impressed about how persistent he is...though this persistence is annoying, its still impressive...