Funny craigslist adds!! - RC-Monster Forums

riverat1540 · **Funny craigslist adds!! -** 09.16.2009, 07:02 PM

http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/fuo/1373535471.html this one is pretty good!

What's_nitro? · 07:39 PM

That's a good one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guy on Craig's List

I could probably light it on fire, douse the fire with a bowl of urine, dry it with greasy rags, and still be fine with napping on it in my underpants.

Metallover · 08:48 PM

This is great. Since this will expire, I shall move this text onto this thread so it can be enjoyed for years to come. Thanks riverat1540!

Quote:

So my wife wants a new couch. She wants me to sell this one. Check out that picture! I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Why would she possibly want to sell such a beautiful loveseat!? Surely her poor taste in loveseats is on par with that of Adolf Hitler and Martha Stewart!" Well, I'll tell you why she wants to sell it. It has flower patterns. While one may think that women love flower patterns, since they love flowers, this woman does not. She wants to trade it in for a newer, better model. One with "Micro-fiber", whatever the heck that means.

So I said "But Honey, how would you feel if I said I wanted to trade YOU in for a newer, better model?"

Since I spent the following week sleeping on this particular "love"seat and nursing a black eye, I can certainly attest to its comfort: It doesn't have much. Oh, it's ok for sitting on while you watch Sex and the City reruns while simultaneously crying and eating gallons of ice cream. But for sleeping, it's no good. I'm only 5'5" and it was too short even for me! You can certainly lay on it with your legs propped up on the arm rest and watch Terminator 2 while you eat bugles and fart. I couldn't possibly tell you how many of my own farts, tears, bugle dust, and witty one-liners this couch has absorbed!

I don't think it has any stains. Of course I probably wouldn't notice if it did. I could probably light it on fire, douse the fire with a bowl of urine, dry it with greasy rags, and still be fine with napping on it in my underpants.

Let me tell you the story of this couch. This story will make you laugh, cry, and shiver in fear. It's an epic tale, one for the history books.

One day I was walking out of my apartment complex. My neighbor stopped me and asked me if I wanted a free couch. I said "Sure!" and he helped me carry it in.

Well maybe that story wasn't "Epic", but who cares. This is Craigslist. Why would you be looking for epic stories in an ad for a couch? Get real.

Anyways, come buy this couch. "But wait!", you say. "What could I possibly give you that would be a fair trade for such a magnificent couch!?" Frankly, you don't have anything that could match this. So I'll settle:

I want a 12-pack of beer. I'm normally a Coors Light man, but am willing to expand my horizons. No budweiser! That stuff tastes like boiled donkey urine that's been sitting in the sun for a week. And no miller, that's just boring. Other than that, surprise me.

That way, someday in the future, when I'm sitting on a new micro-fiber couch watching Arnold deliver such lines as "You're fired!" and "Stick around!" I can drown out the memories of how much I paid for this so-called "Micro-Fiber" with a drunken haze. I bet she won't let me eat bugles on it. But even she can't stop the farts or the one-liners. I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

Edit: Price has been lowered to a 6-pack. I'm a lightweight, so a 6-pack should get me sufficiently drunk to watch Commando and giggle hysterically. "Let off some steam, Bennett!"

lincpimp · 09.16.2009, 08:34 PM

Since he got it for free he should be the one handing out the beer for someone to take it. I will have to see if he will pay shipping...

riverat1540 · 09.17.2009, 11:20 AM

yea it was one of the best ones ive seen in a while but im sure there are alot more out there

Bondonutz · 09.17.2009, 11:41 AM

Admitting to laying on it in underwear, Bugle dust and farting on it doesn't help with getting rid of it ?

riverat1540 · 09.17.2009, 11:48 AM

This part cracks me up!

Quote:

I want a 12-pack of beer. I'm normally a Coors Light man, but am willing to expand my horizons. No budweiser! That stuff tastes like boiled donkey urine that's been sitting in the sun for a week. And no miller, that's just boring.

riverat1540 · 09.17.2009, 11:51 AM

found another one that is ok maybe there is some good stuff where u guys are located as well

Quote:

Bicycle Peddles (metal) - $10 (Lakeview.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-09-15, 1:28AM CDT
Reply to: sale-dxqy5-1375117162@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I'm selling a pair of metal bike petals that were only used for a few months. These are better quality peddles made of metal with no plastic. The reason why I made sure to get metal was because my previous bike had plastic peddles. During the cold winter months the plastic weakened and the peddle snapped as I proceeded to peddle. Needles to say I almost gave myself a back alley style sex change but was fortunate to not cause myself any damage. :)

Plastic peddles should be illegal!

Metal peddles (one pair)

See photo.

Location: Lakeview.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1375117162

09.17.2009, 12:37 PM

I like the constant misspelling of the word pedal.

BrianG · 09.17.2009, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FastXR

I like the constant misspelling of the word pedal.

What's really funny is that they spelled the same word differently, and both incorrect ("petals", "peddles"). :)

_paralyzed_ · 09.17.2009, 02:36 PM

I called a guy once who was selling a pushbroom through a local paper for $7. I told him what I really needed was a pull broom but I thought I could make a pushbroom work. We discussed the use of the broom over its life, and the fact that it was indeed a one owner broom with low miles on it. I tried to haggle him down to $4 but he wouldn't go below $5 so I told him I had other brooms I was looking at and that I might get back to him.

What's_nitro? · 09.17.2009, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _paralyzed_

I called a guy once who was selling a pushbroom through a local paper for $7. I told him what I really needed was a pull broom but I thought I could make a pushbroom work. We discussed the use of the broom over its life, and the fact that it was indeed a one owner broom with low miles on it. I tried to haggle him down to $4 but he wouldn't go below $5 so I told him I had other brooms I was looking at and that I might get back to him.

Amazing....

jayjay283 · 05:02 PM

I wont even log onto that crap, thats where people get murdered. A friend of mine traded a rustler for a beat up nitro muggy on there. hes 15 and asked me to drive him and make sure he doesn't get jacked. These dudes we met up with must have been fresh out of prison. I thought for sure I was going to die.. Never again the craiglist for me. Id bet if I wasn't there they would have beat the crap out of him and taken the stuff

Bondonutz · 09.17.2009, 05:32 PM

I sell on CraigsList also, and always meet the buyer at a very public location. One of the the first times I sold anything the guy wanted to meet behind the local mall. I tried to get a better place but he was insistant ? Warning flags for me. Just befor I pulled around the corner of the building where the meeting place was I put my .45ACP on the dash. I pulled up next him and a couple of his buddys and we had a very quick transaction. He hardley looked at the item,he seemed to want to get the business done and leave ? He didn't seem nothing like how he was on the phone ?

BP-Revo · 09.17.2009, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bondonutz

I sell on CraigsList also, and always meet the buyer at a very public location. One of the the first times I sold anything the guy wanted to meet behind the local mall. I tried to get a better place but he was insistant ? Warning flags for me. Just befor I pulled around the corner of the building where the meeting place was I put my .45ACP on the dash. I pulled up next him and a couple of his buddys and we had a very quick transaction. He hardley looked at the item,he seemed to want to get the business done and leave ? He didn't seem nothing like how he was on the phone ?

LOL. Must have been a change in plans after seeing your .45 on the dash.