How to run a background check on someone?

[nativepaul]

Don't know about where you live but over here that would be illegal without express written consent of the party concerned and good reason, my employers for example probably wouldn't get my records even if gave them permission because we are not doing anything that is a public security risk, if however i wanted to be a teacher or work at the airport I would have to consent to a check on my aplication and they would run the check if I seemed like a good candidate at interview and would have the results before deciding whether or not to offer me a job.

If a private individual wanted to run a background check on me there would be 5 ways of going about it:-
1. Gain high ranking employment in a high security job then offer me a job at so much pay I would quit my job and submit to a check for him.
2. Become a Policeman.
3. Bribe a policeman.
4. Become a judge then stitch me up for a crime, any previous convictions I have will be released in court to help with sentencing. (NB add another option if you think judges aren't above bribes)
5. Start pulling my toenails out one by one with a pair of pliers, I'll answer any questions you have pretty darned sharply.