You realy need a controller designed to run at least 4s. The Mamba is only speced for 3s. The best two choices available currently are the Quark Monster 125b and the higher rated MGM controllers. Both have pro's and con's. The Quark requires at least a heatsink to run cool enough in warmer climates but is fairly reliable until or unless it has thermal bonding separation issues. I don't have an MGM but they get generally good reviews and feedback on this forum and are probably the best overall choice. Hopefully the Mamba Monster Max and Tekin 1/8th scale controllers will soon be available but until then the previous mentioned controlers would be your best bet.
The fem deans goes on the batt - too easy to short the other way. If you're asking how to connect the wires - see the package, on rear is a diagram showing which is positive/negative and which side of terminal wire should be soldered to.